For My Grandma

A grandma is warm hugs and sweet memories.

She remembers all of your accomplishments and forgets all of your mistakes.

She is someone you can tell your secrets and worries to, and she hopes and prays that all your dreams come true.

She always loves you, no matter what.

She can see past temper tantrums and bad moods, and makes it clear that they don't affect how precious you are to her.

She is an encouraging word and a tender touch.

She is full of proud smiles.

She is the one person in the world who loves you with all her heart,

Who remembers the child you were and cherishes the person you've become.

{Barbara Cage}

My Grandma passed away yesterday morning; now I have no Grandmas left, which seems very shocking for me to see in black and white. This loss is especially hard because she was the grandparent I was closest too. She and Grandpa lived a few blocks away from us, and helped my parents a great deal while my brother and I were growing up. I saw her almost every day. Brad and I used to walk over and see them on the weekends, when we were dating in high school and college. She always really liked Brad, telling me he was such a nice boy and would always take good care of me. She was right on both counts. It's funny what you remember about people. I will always associate diet Faygo pop in glass bottles, with her. As well as watching her put curlers into her hair at the kitchen table or wearing them out under a kerchief. This is probably from my earlier childhood, as I know she also went to go to a hair beautician. I used to love going over her house, sitting in her den, in the recliner and reading her Star and Nat'l Enquirer magazines. She liked to keep up on all the gossip about the stars. I remember a narrow flight of stairs up to the attic or a long big upstairs bedroom at the home my mom grew up, before they moved closer to where we lived, and her stories of watching out the kitchen window for the girls to come home when they were out late. I think she mentioned Aunt Barb being one she had to wait for a lot.

How she used to love wearing lots of rings with brightly colored stones and getting her nails done. She loved pink and carnations were her favorite flower. I also recall going to Arby's for an extra long lunch with her and Grandpa for Grandparent's Day in elementary school and being taken to the various restaurants her and Grandpa were regulars at. She used to tell me she sure hoped she lived long enough to see my wear high heels. Well, she got to see all that and a lot more☺
She was always so happy to see ER and they had a special bond right from the start. She was charmed when during one of the first visits, ER grabbed a hold of her finger and held on tightly. She'd remind me of that over and over, as she stroked ER's cheeks and told everyone that this was her great grandbaby. Later on, she was always amazed by how much ER talked and did, telling me she was such a smart girl. Just like her mommy. She loved getting a new piece of original art work to hang on her wall and her picture board was overflowing with pictures of ER. She was always so proud to show ER off to the nursing home staff. ER took the news very hard. She was quite inconsolable for a long time. She was so upset that she wouldn't ever see Great Grandma again and worried that she wouldn't be able to hug her any more. She told me but she just had to go to Great Grandma's house to see the fish in the lobby and sit outside by the "pond", really a fountain, with Great Grandma. Then she wanted to gather up every single "baby" Great Grandma had ever given her from winning bingo at the nursing home.

She's the one who told Brad and my Dad when they pulled up into the driveway from picking up the new playscape we purchased for her. "Hey! Did you know my Great Grandma went up to heaven?" That's how they found out. She also told several other people, in a very serious tone, "I have very sad news. My Great Grandma is in heaven with her Mommy and Daddy now. I can't give her hugs anymore and she'll be sad." Grandma left behind a legacy of love, with five children, seven grandchildren, and four great grandchildren. She is the first one in my maternal side of the immediate family to leave us, and her loss will be felt greatly. I know I will think of her every time I say the rosary, her favorite prayer.

When a person you love passes away
Look to the night sky on a clear day.
The star that to you, appears to be bright,
Will be your loved one,
Looking upon you during the night.
The lights of heaven are what shows through
As your loved one watches all that you do.
When you feel lonely for the one that you love,
Look to the Heavens in the night sky above.
{author unknown}

I miss you already Grandma; it's hard for me to accept you are really gone. I will miss you every day, until we meet again. Words cannot express how much you mean to me.

I will be taking a short break from blogging and will not be replying to emails either, while with my family. Thank you in advance for understanding.